Change and Where It Takes Us

Posted by Megan Thompson on

I've always taken great pride in sharing a sense of transparency with you all. This past month as been rough. Lets back track for a moment...

Back in August my partner and I spent two weeks vacationing in the beauty that is downeast Maine. You see, he's originally from a very tiny town called Calais that borders Canada. Over those two weeks, we spent most of our time camping, berry picking, building wildflower bouquets, and bathing in the most beautiful lakes my eyes have ever seen. When our vacation came to a close, I returned home finding myself missing the simplicities that my grounding vacation brought to me. I felt like a stranger to the things I most enjoyed back home in Winston-Salem. It felt as though my soul was fed for the first time with actual sustenance and then I had to go back to filling it with over-priced food, Instagram, and bar hopping. Different souls are filled and made whole by different things. It was after this trip that I discovered that along with my need for community, which is filled so beautifully by Downtown Winston-Salem, my soul also needed to feel limitless and free among nature.

This is where the craziness sets in...

It was at this point when I decided to move my partner and I to a more rural area in Winston-Salem. This decision would ultimately benefit the lives of my partner and I in many ways. We would both get to live a bit more peacefully in a home all to ourselves, I could find a place with a larger area to run my business, and we would still be close enough to Downtown Winston-Salem to visit when we wanted to. My search began and shortly ended with a quick Craigslist search. I found a 2 bedroom home complete with an attic, basement, and 3/4th an acre. Its cottage style exterior had my heart fluttering. I knew that I had to pursue it with haste and determination when my partner immediately loved it as well. We both elatedly brainstormed about what we would use each room for, the garden we would build together in the spring, a fire pit in the backyard, and raising chickens for their yummy eggs.

That's all good and well but...

Once we settled on what would be our first home together, the reality set in that I would have to move out essentially 3 years worth of stuff from my apartment + an entire business and then move it back in somewhere else. I was truly not prepared at all. I was busy daydreaming about homegrown onions when I should have been strategizing a way to get moved and keep my business going as easily and quickly as possible. I am a dreamer though and dreamers will dream. It took about a week for me to have everything packed and throw away anything that I wouldn't be needing in this next chapter of my life (which proved to be emotional at times - I've never been one for change.) Once I moved in and began unpacking...thats when it hit me. My good ol' friend Depression reared its ugly head. I began to doubt myself and my ability to start over in a new place. I became my own worst enemy and began to stand in the way of myself making any good progress with setting up my new home and soaping studio. I cried while I wondered to myself if I had made the right decision for myself, my business, and my partner. I was no longer in my safe blanket that I had weaved around myself over the past 3 years.

But the sun came up as it always does...

It's hard to leave a life full of consistency even when you're unsatisfied. We often want to cling to things, periods of time, and memories rather than taking the leap to create new ones. This apprehensiveness is ruled by one thing...fear. Fear of new beginnings and fear of the unknown. As I sit here, past want I would consider the worst of my emotional opposition to change, I can hear my partner in his new music room strumming his acoustic guitar and singing. I see my cat taking a nap on the table in front of me and feel a sense that everything will be okay. My soap studio is near completion after mustering up the courage to fight through my depression and I'm ready to begin the hard work to get stocked up for the holidays. I share this with you because I think it's important to address that we all face things such as this. We live in a world where our lives can be faked through a screen. We have the ability to mold the minds of our friends, family, and followers with staged photos and artsy filters. We often times forget that everyday someone is facing a battle that we are made blind to. This is my way of using what tiny bit of influence I have as a local business owner to say - I'm right here with you. 

Thanks to be given...

At this point, It's important for me to finish up by giving thanks to those that support me in all the many ways that one can be supported. First, my partner, who gave me tough love when I need it, soft love when I wanted it, and who works hard to better understand me emotionally and spiritually everyday. Secondly, my family, who has proved to always be a source of validation and offers a kind listening ear when I need it. Thirdly, my friends, who belong in the family category as well. Where would I be without your honestly, support, and undying companionship? I hope I never have to find out. Lastly, my customers and Wild Rituals product vendors, my dreams would not be possible if not for you. Even when I'm at my lowest and believe that I can't do anymore, you are all there to remind me that my hardwork and stress create something beautiful. For all those reasons and more, I thank each and every one of you.

Love + Light,

 

Crisis Call Center
800-273-8255 or text ANSWER to 839863
Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week
http://crisiscallcenter.org/crisisservices.html

Crisis Text Line:

Crisis Text Line is free, 24/7 support for those in crisis. Text 741741

Depression and Bipolar Support
800-273-TALK (8255)
Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week
http://www.dbsalliance.org

National Hopeline Network
800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
800-442-HOPE (4673)
Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week
http://www.hopeline.com

Crisis Center and Hotlines Locator by State
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/getinvolved/locator

Suicide Prevention Services Depression Hotline
630-482-9696
Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week
http://www.spsamerica.org

 

1 comment


  • thank you so much for posting this!! you’re honesty and light are so inspiring, you breathe life into the people you reach out to. I entirely understand. I don’t have the weight of my own local business on my shoulders, but I have barely continued breathing with the weight of mental illness, especially depression, for years. I’ve learned that life is about loving people like never before and about being true with those people. you seem, to me, to do both of those so glowingly!! I love everything you’ve made and couldn’t be more thankful for this bit of your heart you’ve shared as comfort and encouragement. thank you so much.. I hope to meet you one day!! you’re so lovely and true.
    love always x

    Rebekah Ehrhardt on

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